we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
he had hair everywhere except his balls
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
