Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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