...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
