i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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