....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
