You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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