these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize