brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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