I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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