I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
