This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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