Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
