I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
