I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
3 2 1 whiskey
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
