Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
this boner is exhausting
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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