Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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