you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
