sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
