Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
