Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
