lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
