I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
