Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
