Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
