Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize