I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I feel like abortions should bother me more
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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