is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
