is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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