Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
