is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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