it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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