She is in my trunk
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
