i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
