we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
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