if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
