Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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