You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
