kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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