I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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