I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
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