I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
