ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
