You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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