I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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