i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
