i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
