The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
