I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
