:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
