So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
