My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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