I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
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