True but thats because hes a fetus.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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