we're blogging at a bar
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
