my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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