dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
