Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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