I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
