don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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