Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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